Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Grumble, grumble, grumble... FINE!

After careful consideration, I decided my query letter needed a revamp...

... as such, I may need a new lap top after throwing it off my balcony.* 

This decision has been one of those I've-known-it-for-a-while-but-didn't-want-to-face-the-facts kind of a thing. (Been there? Yeah.) My old query just didn't portray the right mood... didn't emphasize the right plot-ness... and didn't give enough of a HOLLA! to my main character. I kept telling myself:

"But... but... BUT... my query is OKAY... do I really NEED to make it better?"

Self: if you ever have to ask that... the answer is probably a resounding YES.

But seriously?? ITS QUERY WRITING. 

Be honest, you know you'd rather stick your finger into a moving egg beater than write a query.

I had to drag myself, screaming and hollering to the computer to MAKE myself rewrite this thing. On the bright side, its looking better! [Three CHEERS and a HALLELUJAH!!] 

But oh how I loathe you, Query Writing.

As such, I am now taking up donations under the name of I-Had-To-Rewrite-My-Query-And-Broke-My-Lap-Top fund.** If you would like to contribute to this worthy cause, I accept cash donations, Diet Coke or Cheese Its.

I think that about wraps up how MY day is going... How are YOU doing?!

*AMENDMENT... I didn't REALLY throw it off the balcony... just dangled it by the cord threateningly.

**Just kidding... said lap top only suffered minimal damage in my Query tirade. I would, however, still gladly take donations of Diet Coke and Cheese Its... if anyone is offering ( :


Barbara Kloss said...

You made me laugh (and spit all over my computer). I wasn't expecting you to throw it off your balcony. Poor thing.



Julie said...

Hahahahaha! No worries, I didn't REALLY throw it off my balcony... I just dangled it by the cord threateningly ( :

But I was tempted.

SORELY tempted!

Its lucky it got away with it this time... I might not be so generous for the next query round!

Julie said...

*aAdding amendments so people don't think I'm a lap top abuser!!*

S. L. Hennessy said...

I was pretty worried util I got to the amendment. I burned something I wrote today. It was immensely satisfying.

Julie said...

Haha! Yes, I was able to talk myself off the ledge.... literally... BUT I REALLY, REALLY WANTED TO!!!!

Burning... [sigh]... that IS satisfying! My friends and I used to have end-of-the-year homework burning parties. I can definitely see how burning your edits... or query letter... or lap top... would be SOOOOO worth it.

Unless it was the lap top.

In which case, the satisfactory smell of burning plastic would only last so long... ( :

Annalisa Crawford said...

In theory, though, query writing should be the easiest thing in the world - you're telling someone about your baby! That's it. Simple.

Okay, I know it's a lot harder than that, but I start from the premise that I'm telling my friend about it - I write it the way I would explain it to her, then I can tweak it to make it sound more 'professional'.

I hope this makes sense, and helps a little bit.

Julie said...

Annalisa: IF ONLY it were that easy, right?! Haha!

So how do you explain it to your friends? I don't know about you, but when I try to "elevator pitch" someone on a good book, I usually end up botching the whole story line. I could probably make Harry Potter sound dismal! I've been getting better at pitching MY book, but still... my rock-awesome-book-summaring-elevator-pitching-skillzzzz need work.

Any special magic formulas you could share?!

Annalisa Crawford said...

Actually a friend asked me to explain my book the other day, and I botched that!

Magic formula -
Have you seen the Query Shark site:

Julie said...

Haha!! Oh good! Glad I'm not the only elevator-pitch-botcher on the planet ( ;

Oooo... stalking Query Shark pronto!!

Christa Desir said...

You know what sucks? The query never goes away. Even after you're agented, even after you're published. Then they call it "blurbs" but it's the same thing. I still hate them.

Julie said...

Christa: Nooooooooooooo!!!!

I think I might cry. But you're totally right. I mean... and here I was, HOPING that published authors just had a pack of Oompa Loompas to write their book flap blurbs for them...


*slaps forehead*

Worst. News. EVER!!

Heather said...

Ugh, query writing sucks. It's just unnatural for us fiction writers. It's all about switching gears to sell yourself. Hang in there, you'll get it!

Julie said...

Hahaha! I love how you phrased that "unnatural" ( : SO. TRUE!!!

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