I swear, hubbs is going for mucho hubby brownie points or something tonight. After dinner, he nuzzles up to me and says:
"Hey babe, you haven't written a blog post in like two weeks. Why don't you go do that while I do dishes."
Como say wha?! (That's Spanglish for "Huh?!)
Not one to turn down a skip-to-GO-and-collect-two-hundred-dollars-for-free card, I gladly accepted! Consider your mucho hubby brownie points awarded, babe!
So... now what to talk about on my golden monopoly card night? (Which is, of course, the skip-to-GO card and Wonka-golden-ticket combo package)...
Email tag lines. Why? Because I had a bad experience with one the other day. And yeah... I gotta admit, I'm just not a fan.
Look, I get that adding "Smile, life is beautiful!" to every email you send is supposed to add the warm, happy fuzzy feeling of inspiration to a person's day. And you know what? Who am I to judge, maybe some people ARE inspired by such email tags.
But not me. Why?
They're kind of like the posters plastering the walls of every dentist office in the continental US. YOU know the ones. Since I'm quite certain they aren't up for their asthetically pleasing nature, there can be only one reason for their decorative presence. And I'm sorry, Doc, but the cute kitten-hanging-from-a-tree-branch poster with the "Hang in there!" tag line does NOT make me feel better about the whole needle-and-drill routine.
Bumper stickers. Dentist office posters. Email tag lines. They're all kind of fake. Know what I mean? A superficial method of inspiration. Call me a cynic, I know.
ANY-who, so I'm sittin' there at work the other day, minding my own business, and I get this email with one of the most ridiculous email tags in the history of email tags. Okay, so maybe not THE most ridiculous, but it was pretty darn close:
"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."
Now, I kind of sorta maybe DON'T get what is so inspiring about this "inspirational" quote. This was my translation:
"If the situation isn't taking you where you want to go, reevaluate your destination!"
Meh?? That kind of stupidity ranks up there with Lady Gaga wearing her meat dress to a dog fight.
[Hardy, har. Lame joke alert!]
Now granted, I'm not a sailor. It is, perhaps, possible that if you wanna go north but the winds are blowin' south, that you can adjust the sails to take you north AGAINST the winds. But somehow, I just don't think it works that way. At least--as a non sailor personnel--I don't see how that could physically work. Hence, my translation of said tag. Which I maintain: is ridiculous.
Most of you, dear readers, are writers. Most of you are not published. But most of you are also working your little rear ends off to GET published. And just in case you haven't realized it yet, the wind ain't NEVER gunna be blowin' you to publication my friends! We have to sweat blood and tears to MAKE it happen. Does that mean we reevaluate our goals?
I think not.
Here's what I propose that email sender change her tag line to:
"If you can't change the wind... cannon ball, belly flop or dive outta that freakin' boat and start swimming the direction YOU want to go!"
But that's just my opinion.
What lame tag, bumper sticker or dentist office poster lines have YOU come across?!