Monday, November 8, 2010

Really, truly... the last Query Revision (I hope)

I know I've posted SO many other query letters. But I really feel like this one is the last revision. And regardless if it is the "last" revision, it is undoubtedly the BEST revision thus far. Last night I had hubby help me "polish." Might I say that hubby is quite brutal when he edits. He has the sensitivity of a seldge hammer. I always have to mentally prepare myself before asking him for editiorial help. Even then, I still usually end up defensive.

BUT... I have to admit that despite my bruised ego, he DID add some invaluable advice, and we managed to pound out a really polished letter, which I think is going to work VERY well. (Fingers crossed).

Dear Agent:

I recently completed my first novel,
Keepers of the Flame, the first in a trilogy to come.

In 2008, I graduated from Brigham Young University as a History Major. I am now a third year law student at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln.

Like George Orwell’s
Nineteen Eighty-Four, or Suzanne Collin’s The Hunger Games, Keepers of the Flame explores the potential demise of a nation, as a few brave individuals struggle to right the wrongs of a power-hungry government. It follows the lives of the Halls, an influential government family, as they are torn apart by the political turmoil rippling through the U.S. government. At the heart of the conflict is Elias Clymer, an expert politician with powerful sway in Congress. Facing little resistance, Clymer and other congressmen scheme to overthrow the government; only a few are left to stand against him. Senator Thomas Hall is one such person.

Unbeknownst to Hall, the problem reaches into his own home. His oldest son, Marcus, is seeking to establish a place in Clymer’s new regime. Meanwhile, Hall’s other children, Ethan and Vanessa ("Essie"), join an underground movement set on restoring the values of freedom and liberty. In a desperate fight to stop Clymer’s plan, Ethan and Essie become entangled in an epic battle to save the country they love.

Because of the tumultuous political climate of our day,
Keepers of the Flame will reach a large audience that surpasses the normal boundaries of genre. I especially hope to generate interest among the YA generation, whose increased political enthusiasm was highly influential in the 2008 presidential election.

Enclosed are the first three chapters for your review. The completed work is approximately 100,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to discussing this opportunity with you further.

Most Sincerely,

Julie Tuovi
December 2010 J.D. Candidate
University of Nebraska College of Law


Emily Gibbons said...

It's great Julie! You express yourself very professionally. Way to go!

Julie said...

Awh, thanks, Em ( : I appreciate both you and Rob for making this draft possible!