Oh dear Insecure Writers Group... I've neglected you the past few months, haven't I?
Alright, go ahead. Slap my wrist.
Consider me reprimanded. Now onward with my insecurities!
This month I foolishly allowed a few friends OUTSIDE my writing group to read a draft of my writing.
I know, I know what you're thinking. And your'e right. This--by itself--isn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, beta readers are good. They give a different perspective that our writing-engourged critique partners often can't see. A "normal person's perspective," if you will.
HOWEVER... I'm absolutely KICKING myself right now, because after I sent off this lovely draft to my lovely non-writing friends, I changed a WHOLE bunch of stuff that made the plot line--like--five thousand times better. (This, on the recommendation of a few agent reject letters I got. So you know, I guess they DO know what they're talking about every now and again...Haha!)
Anyway, my point is, is that I'm absolutely cringing right now, thinking about that "old" draft my friends read. That crapy, inconsistent, unfinished draft that has absolutely NO right seeing the light of day. What will they think of me??
Last week, one of the friends that I gave said crappy draft to actually sent back me back some comments. Aaaaand, I have to admit, I haven't even opened the email yet.
If I never have to see it, then I never have to know how bad she thought it was, right? Ugh.
I'm a coward. I know.
Has anyone else ever had this happen before? Sending out a draft to beta readers, then feeling absolutely miserable after hitting the send button, because you realize how dreadful that draft was? I feel like its easier with agents... they EXPECT crappy drafts sometimes, right? But with friends?? You only really get one shot to impress them...