Friday, September 23, 2011

Can You Hook a Teen?

Woot, woot! An exciting bloghop contest for ALL YA writers... peeps, its time for us to test our skillzzzz agains those who really count:

The teens.

[Gulp]

Here's the rules: enter the first 250 words of your YA ms here (finish the sentence if 250 falls in the middle somewhere!) by Midnight (MST) on September 23. Then hop around and critique everyone else's entries! 

Sorry this is kinda late notice, as it is already 8:32 MST.... but as I'm sitting here pulling my hair out over COLLEGE FOOTBALL STRESS this Friday night (seriously, Jake-freakin'-Heaps?? Enough with the turnovers!!), I thought I'd do a little blog surfing (coughSTALKINGcough) and found this. If you have time before midnight tonight, go ahead and add your entry! If not, enjoy reading the other enteries here!

My Entry:

Title: Keepers of the Flame
Genre: YA Pre-Dystopian Political Thriller

Essie stopped.

Through the clamor of escalating chaos, something screamed at her, demanding her attention.

But there was no time. The seconds continued their reckless march towards the cataclysmic event she knew was coming and was powerless to stop.

She shouldn’t stop. She needed to keep running.

It pulled harder.

One glance couldn’t hurt . . . right?

With a shiver, she turned.

That moment, the earth halted in orbit and time froze. Essie felt the catch slip, closing her old life forever. A new door opened, a wide expanse stretching out in front of her, full of pain.

“No,” she whispered.

Too late.

Essie screamed and recoiled at the flash of brilliant orange light. The earth quivered under her feet and the deafening explosion cracked through the night like a gunshot. In an instant, the monumental stone dome caved, sending a column of black smoke into the atmosphere.

It wasn’t a minute. It wasn’t even a second. But it felt like eternity.

Essie watched the figure on the stairs throw his hands protectively over his head. For a brief moment, their eyes met. Essie sobbed. She reached out as if to touch him one final time. His kind eyes held hers, lips parting to whisper a last, silent message.

I love you.

The inferno consumed him.

The explosion hit Essie like a wrecking ball. She gasped, her body blown backwards by the sheer strength of the blast. Essie wasn’t sure how far she flew. She didn’t care.

17 comments:

Mandi said...

I just got your post on Brenda's blog! I was hoping you'd do it! :)

Julie said...

Mandi: As a point in fact, I was actually stalking YOUR blog when I found this! Woot, woot to YOU!

Mandi said...

In the words of Vector from Despicable Me: "OH YEAH!!" (minus all that creepy pelvic thrusting... LOL)

I just found the Bloghop last night. One of these days I'll be at the front end of one of these contests. LOL

Julie said...

Hahahahaha!

*wipes tear*

LOVE. THAT. MOVIE!!!!!

It's so fluffy I'm gonna DIE! (I can't get enough of unicorn girl!)

Mandi said...

Agnes- Aww! My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.

Edith- That's a Cheeto

Agnes- Oh. (eats cheeto)

I do like peppering my conversations with sporadic movie quotes. LOL

Yesterday it was Shrek.

I was craving Waffles. LOL

Bkloss said...

YOUR BEGINNING IS AWESOME! Seriously, can you post the rest, please? lol.

ps EEEEEP!!! *hugs* :D

Shallee said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Enjoyed your first 250, good luck in the blogfest.

Mandi said...

Um, Girlfriend? You MUST check this blog out and then tell me what you think.

Search all the pages, info, and content! I think my mind is blown!

http://misssnarksfirstvictim.blogspot.com/

Mandi said...

Oh! I forgot to mention that I FINALLY was able to read your samples chapters! *Ugh!* Sorry it too me a while. :?

But I LOOOOVE IT!!!

Peggy Eddleman said...

WOW! That beginning rocked! I loved it! If I had randomly picked this up, I'd definitely find a chair to curl up in to KEEP READING. Fabulous.

Julie said...

Barb: Yay! So glad you liked it!! Are you offering to be a beta reader? I could use a fresh set of eyes... No pressure, though, I know you're UBER busy!!

Shallee: dito! My blog appreciates the love too ( :

Mandi: I'm on it, girl!

Peggy: Eeeek! You just made my night! THANKS!

Julie said...

Mandi: follow up.... mind blown! Still reeling! If I can figure out exactly WHAT is going on with all that amazing-ness, perhaps I'll try to enter next month!

Until then? I'm going to go sleep off all this brain stimulation.

Mandi said...

I KNOW, RIGHT!!!

I'm finding tons of help by reading the critiques to other people's work. Some of it can be subjective, but when they start talking about the physical skeleton of your work, THEN it's applicable and you can take it and apply it to your own work. I doubt I'll participate with it before November. I've still got some work to do of my own. :)

Christa Desir said...

Holy crap! I am soooo hooked. Great job.

Julie said...

Christa: Eeek! Yay!

[happy dance!]

Kim said...

Loved it. You, my dear, have a new stalker, too :)

Julie said...

Kim: Yesssssss. I heart stalkers!

P.s. THANK YOU!! I'm tickled you liked it!

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