Wednesday, September 16, 2009

To Query--an instance of questioning

The query letter--according to seasoned veterans in the writing community--is the single most important element when submitting your manuscript to agents and/or publishers. It lets the agent know who you are and what your book is about in a very quick, 1-paged nut shell.

Easy, right?

Wrong.

Think of spending countless hours on a 400 page manuscript, only to have to turn around and squeeze all that 400 pages of that into 1 or 2. NOT EASY! It's like writing that little summary on the back of book flaps at Barnes and Noble. You have to use the ink on your paper to literally scream "YOU WANT ME," demanding their attention with every fiber of your being! You have to frantically claw your way to the surface of the growing pile of muck on their desk in only 2 or 3 small desperately written paragraphs! Have I made my point yet? Oh yeah, and by the way, if you don't, you're back in the "slush pile" with the rest of the wanna-be-authors.

No pressure.

I've been putting this little project off for a while. Seriously, it's just a daunting of a task... worse than writing a novel you ask? Absolutely! Luckily, I'm not the only writer who's had a little bit of a love/hate relationship with the query letter. On his website, writer Nicolas Sparks (author of the famed Notebook, ladies, I'm sure you've heard of it) confessed that it took 17 drafts and 2 weeks of revising before he was satisfied with his Notebook query letter! I'm not alone!!

Anyway, I started it today, my first draft of a query letter, and I wanted to share that first draft with you. Does it suck? Probably? Does it need some work? Most definitely! But I thought it would be entertaining to compare my first draft to my last draft. Hopefully (fingers crossed) there will be some marked improvements!

So here it is, ladies and gents... the first draft of my query letter:

Dear Agent,

I am thrilled to introduce you to my first novel, Keepers of the Flame, the first of three in a trilogy I hope to have the privilege of working with you on.

I have an extensive repertoire of writing that I completed through my work as a History Major at Brigham Young University and the University of Nebraska Law School, where I am currently in my second year. Writing is not a foreign language to me—I love it—which is why I’m delighted to be presenting my first novel!

Keepers of the Flame, is an intense political thriller that follows the lives of one powerful government family as they are torn apart by lies, secrets, mistrust and an almost unquenchable lust for power. While their older brother seeks to establish a permanent place in the new regime, two siblings fight back at the overreaching hand of government, joining a nation-wide, underground movement as it sets out to restore the fundamental values of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. In our day in age where political upheavals, and uproarious government scandals, are an all-too-common occurrence, this novel paints a powerful picture of what life can become if a country succumbs to the pressures of an all-powerful government, who promises the false allure of security by stripping freedom and liberty from a people.

Like George Orewell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, or Suzanne Collin’s The Hunger Games, both classic novels in which a few seemingly unimportant individuals strike out against totalitarian regime, Keepers of the Flame explores the potential demise of a nation, as a few brave individuals struggle to right the wrongs built up by a power-hungry government. Not unlike George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, who fought for independence from King George’s tyrannical rule, the siblings become intimately acquainted with the deep meaning of freedom and independence as they struggle to answer the time-honored debate of right and wrong.

Keepers of the Flame explores all the treasured elements of the human soul’s fight for survival: liberty, freedom, love, family, loyalty, patriotism and courage. And yet, this novel is unique from other novels in two ways. The first is that it tells the story of the government’s actual demise. Rather than glossing over the downfall of a strong government, Keepers of the Flame unabashedly tells the story of how the lure of power can reach into the hearts of faithful leaders, tainting their minds until they are as corrupt as the evil they once fought against. Second, this novel is uniquely marketable to large audiences. Unlike many political thrillers, whose deep literary analysis can often thwart the numbers in readership, Keepers of the Flame’s commercial nature will appeal to a wide variety of readers, reaching past the normal boundaries of genre to every type of booklover.

I have reviewed some of the works you have represented in the past (examples), and would be delighted to work with you on this novel.

Enclosed are the first three chapters of Keepers of the Flame. The novel is approximately 100,000 words and fully complete. Let me know when I can send you the full manuscript.

Most Sincerely,

Julie T. B. Hansen

33 comments:

Rob the Awesome said...

Awesome query letter. I pretty much think you were born to be an author...

Jessica said...

That query letter makes me excited to read your book! Good luck! It sounds so exciting!

Julie said...

Thanks Jess! I appreciate the love ( :

Chrystapooh said...

Julie B., could I please have the pleasure of editing your query letter? There are just a few small grammatical, punctuation and usage errors in the version you posted here. I'd like to just "adjust" those for you so that you look even better to your future agent. If you want me to do so, send me a .doc of the letter via my email: chrystapooh @ hotmail . com (no spaces). I'll send it back with corrections in red. :)

Looking forward to following this saga and to reading your new book!

Love you,
Aunt Chrysta

P.S. Do you know MCB IRL? Was that really you in her blog comments last week, mentioning London? If so, I now feel famous...

Anonymous said...

Sylvi the Amazing says..
good job! wow its really coming along! =]

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online generic tramadol extended release - tramadol online no prescription fedex

Anonymous said...

generic xanax mixing xanax and alcohol side effects - cipro xanax drug interactions

Anonymous said...

generic xanax xanax for performance anxiety - 2mg blue lotus xanax bars

Anonymous said...

xanax order no prescription xanax nursing implications - xanax generic 1mg

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol withdrawal symptoms depression - order tramadol online with cod

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol for dogs reviews - tramadol 200

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol hcl user reviews - tramadol addiction methadone

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol with no prescription needed - buy tramadol online eu

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol purchase usa - tramadol hcl half life

Anonymous said...

xanax online where to get xanax online - side effects of generic xanax

Anonymous said...

generic xanax xanax 1mg side effects - generic xanax pill colors

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg carisoprodol for sleep - carisoprodol 350 mg alcohol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol dosage small dogs - buy tramadol american express

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol 500mg - tramadol for dogs for sale

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online buy tramadol online mastercard - buy tramadol cod free

Anonymous said...

xanax online pass drug test for xanax - long can xanax high last

Anonymous said...

legal buy tramadol online where to buy tramadol over the counter - tramadol 200 mg no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online generic cialis non-prescription - cialis interactions

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online much tramadol overdose dog - tramadol stada 100mg nebenwirkungen

Anonymous said...

http://buytramadolonlinecool.com/#50897 tramadolor 100 mg - tramadol hcl 50 mg picture

Anonymous said...

http://landvoicelearning.com/#21906 kegunaan tramadol hcl - tramadol buy 180

Anonymous said...

learn how to buy tramdadol tramadol 50 mg medication - tramadol 50mg street price

Anonymous said...

http://reidmoody.com/#54126 ativan nursing implications - buy lorazepam legally

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online buy tramadol overnight cod - tramadol high stories

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol zolpidem - safest place buy tramadol online

Anonymous said...

http://ranchodelastortugas.com/#30416 1mg xanax = valium - order xanax online europe

Anonymous said...

cialis cialis acheter cialis

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol no prescription buy tramadol cash on delivery - buy tramadol overnight cod

Musica